Forced to Be Family : A Guide for Living with Sinister Sisters, Drama Mamas, and Infuriating In-Laws Hardcover - 2007 - 1st Edition

The weapons are formidable--intimidation, betrayal, belittling, exclusion, and more--and their sting is sharpest when wielded by a mother, a sister, or another family member. Relatives are permanent fixtures in your life; they know your personal history, your likes and dislikes, and your vulnerabilities, giving their cruelty and criticism a special power to wound. What can you do about it?

In Forced to Be Family, Cheryl Dellasega, the acclaimed author of Mean Girls Grown Up and Surviving Ophelia, takes a close look at how women in families relate to and transgress against each other. Drawing on hundreds of stories from interviews, correspondence, and survey groups, Dellasega examines the dynamics of relational aggression among family members (Relative RA) and helps you overcome this heartbreaking situa-tion and peacefully coexist with women who will always be close to you.

To help you understand and cope with the most difficult aspects of Relative RA, this guide is built around six insights into female relationships within families:

• Women form intense and complex bonds with their female relatives.

• Women expect more from--and forgive more of--family members than friends.

• The permanence of family gives Relative RA a special power.

• Relationships with in-laws operate under a different set of assumptions than those with blood relations.

• Even the most vicious abuser can still feel great affection toward her victims and be unaware of her cruelty.

• Even the most difficult family relationships can be navigated using basic strategies to empower you and others.

Cheryl Dellasega introduces you to scores of women who have experienced what you are going through now. You'll meet the administra-

tive assistant who still battles with her five

sisters for her parents' attention and approval, the high-level executive whose alcoholic sister envies and belittles her success, and the accomplished journalist whose mother resented and berated her to her dying day.

You'll learn how to determine whether the difficulties you're having with a family member are, in fact, RA. And you'll discover techniques for identifying and defusing destructive patterns of interpersonal and familywide behavior that can persist for months, years, and even generations.

Don't let the heartache of Relative RA continue to poison your most important rela-tionships. Read Forced to Be Family and learn how to live in peace with your loved ones.