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I Hate Everyone...Starting With Me

I Hate Everyone...Starting With Me Paperback - 2012 - 1st Edition

by Joan Rivers

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Details

  • Title I Hate Everyone...Starting With Me
  • Author Joan Rivers
  • Binding Paperback
  • Edition number 1st
  • Edition 1
  • Condition Used - Acceptable
  • Pages 242
  • Volumes 1
  • Language ENG
  • Publisher Berkley Books, New York
  • Date 2012-06-05
  • Illustrated Yes
  • Bookseller's Inventory # GOR011866184
  • ISBN 9780425248300 / 0425248305
  • Weight 0.75 lbs (0.34 kg)
  • Dimensions 8.1 x 5.3 x 1.1 in (20.57 x 13.46 x 2.79 cm)
  • Ages 18 to UP years
  • Grade levels 13 - UP
  • Library of Congress subjects Misanthropy - Humor, HUMOR / General
  • Library of Congress Catalog Number 2012008413
  • Dewey Decimal Code 814.54

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Summary

“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.”
—Elizabeth Barrett Browning, 1850
 
“How do I hate thee? How much time do you have?”
—Joan Rivers, today, about two-ish
Joan Rivers is a groundbreaking, award-winning, internationally renowned entertainment goddess. She’s also opinionated—especially when it comes to people she hates. Like people who think giving birth is a unique achievement. Or well-adjusted, a.k.a. boring, ex-child stars who don’t even have a decent addiction.

With all of her diverse experiences, it stands to reason that Joan has seen, done, said, and heard a lot of hateful things. Thank god, she took notes.
 
Here—uncensored and totally uninhibited—she give the best of her worst to First Ladies, closet cases, hypocrites, Hollywood, feminists, and overrated historical figures. And even when letting herself have it, Joan doesn’t hold back in this honest, unabashedly hilarious love letter to the hater in all of us.

From the publisher

JOAN RIVERS is a force of nature and one of the hardest-working celebrities in the world. An entertainment legend, she’s an internationally renowned comedienne, Tony-nominated actress, New York Times bestselling author, Emmy Award-winning television talk show host, playwright, screenwriter, motion picture director, columnist, lecturer, syndicated radio host, jewelry designer and cosmetic company entrepreneur, red carpet fashion laureate, businesswoman and a proud mother and grandmother.

Categories

Excerpt

Love may be a many-splendored thing, but hate makes the world go round. If you think I’m kidding, just watch the six o’clock news. The first twenty-nine minutes are all about dictators and murderers and terrorists and maniacs and, worst of all, real housewives. And then, at the very end of the show, there’s a thirty second human-interest story about some schmuck who married his cat. I rest my case.

Some things I’ve hated forever, some are new acquisitions, and some are just passing fancies. Today I hate happy TV weathermen, feminists who believe Gloria Steinem’s great looks hurt her, Gloria Steinem herself, people who mispronounce the word ask, studio apartments, guidance counselors, first ladies, old people. So if any of this offends you, or you happen to love puppies and kittens and the infirm . . . well . . . I’m impressed. I hate you, but I’m impressed . . .

I know what you’re thinking: “Joan, hate is a very strong word.” You’re right, it is, but I use it as an umbrella term, the way mental-health professionals use the word schizophrenia as a catchall for any particular brand of crazy they can’t identify. So when I say hate, I don’t necessarily mean hate. I could also mean loathe, detest, abhor, dislike, despise or resent. See, isn’t that kinder and gentler? If you think this makes you a better person than I am, good. You’re the idiot that actually paid for this book.

For those of you thinking, Geez, Joan seems a little angry, you’re half right. I am angry. I’m also fed up. I’m fed up with the morons and losers and cretins who are cluttering up the planet. Emma Lazarus wrote, “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.” I didn’t know she meant on my block. But being fed up and angry is better than being depressed. Psychologists tell us that depression is just anger turned inward, but I say, why waste your time? It is what it is and quite frankly I’d rather be angry than depressed. Why? Because antidepressants like Prozac, Wellbutrin and Zoloft can cause bloating—and I hate bloating!!! (I need to go back and add bloating to the list of things I hate. Is there anything worse than not being able to fit into a size two Valentino? I think not. Talk about depressing.)

Media reviews

"An encyclopedia of kvetches by Joan Rivers, with more punch lines per paragraph than any book I've read in years.”—The New York Times
“Often hilarious, often shocking, totally politically incorrect.”—Liz Smith
“An entertaining rant on how she hates nearly everything and everyone, especially herself….The only thing missing is the sound of a drum roll and cymbals to feel as though one is sitting in a nightclub watching a live comedy marathon.”—Kirkus Reviews
"Joan Rivers is extraordinary, but she's not for the easily offended-or for anyone who gets offended at all.”--People

About the author

Comedienne, Emmy Award-winning TV host, Tony-nominated actress and CEO, Joan Rivers was an icon of American culture, a bestselling author, Celebrity Apprentice winner, writer, producer, director, and savvy businesswoman who overcame great odds to reinvent herself time and time again. She hosted E! Network's popular series Fashion Police, and starred with her daughter, Melissa, in their own weekly reality show, Joan and Melissa: Joan Knows Best? on WEtv Network. Her critically acclaimed documentary, Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work premiered in theaters nationwide and is available on DVD. Amongst all of her success, Joan's most joyous triumph was being a mother and grandmother. She died in 2014.

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