Never Say Die: The Myth and Marketing of the New Old Age Hardcover - 2011
by Jacoby, Susan
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Details
- Title Never Say Die: The Myth and Marketing of the New Old Age
- Author Jacoby, Susan
- Binding Hardcover
- Edition First Edition
- Condition Used - Very Good
- Pages 332
- Volumes 1
- Language ENG
- Publisher Pantheon, New York
- Date 2011
- Bookseller's Inventory # 1004318
- ISBN 9780307377944 / 0307377946
- Weight 1.45 lbs (0.66 kg)
- Dimensions 9.4 x 6.5 x 1.3 in (23.88 x 16.51 x 3.30 cm)
- Library of Congress subjects Older people - United States, Old age - United States
- Library of Congress Catalog Number 2010017123
- Dewey Decimal Code 305.260
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Excerpt
Preface
Anyone who has not been buried in a vault for the past two decades is surely aware of the media blitz touting the “new old age” as a phenomenon that enables people in their sixties, seventies, eighties, nineties, and beyond to enjoy the kind of rich, full, healthy, adventurous, sexy, financially secure lives that their ancestors could never have imagined. Much of this propaganda is aimed at baby boomers now in their late forties, fifties, and early sixties, because marketers are betting that the boomer generation will spend almost anything on products that say “Hell no, we won’t go!” to a traditionally defined old age. I too have read (and occasionally written) optimistic screeds on the joys and advantages of the new old age, also known as “young old age,” also known as “successful aging.” But I now regard the relentlessly positive vision promulgated by cheerleaders for the extension of longevity as more of an exhortation, even an ultimatum, than an evidence-based portrait of old age as it is today and is likely to remain for the huge baby boom generation. As the oldest boomers turn sixty-five, it is past time for a more critical and skeptical look at old age as it really is in America today, especially for the “old old”—those in their ninth and tenth decades of life. When I told a forty-something colleague that I was writing a book about the myth of young old age, she asked how old I was (a question still considered impolite in most contexts). I told her I was sixty-three. “Surely you don’t think of that as old?” she asked in a horrifi ed tone. Actually, being an American who came of age in the “forever young” decade, I do not usually think of myself as old. But when I recall how quickly the last two decades, packed with love and work, have sped by, I know how close eighty, or ninety, really is—as distinct from whatever subjective notions I cherish about my own youthfulness. Old, in America, always seems to be a decade or preferably two decades older than one’s own age. The difference between forty and sixty is that, at sixty, the imaginative leap to old old age is not only possible but inescapable.
The idea that there is a new kind of old age, experienced in a radically different way from old age throughout history, is integral to the marketing of longevity. For who would want to live to be one hundred if, as individuals and as a society, we accepted or even suspected that the new old age, after a certain point, encompasses most of the vicissitudes of old-fashioned old age? There is a considerable amount of truth in the assertion that many old people today—if they are in sound fi nancial shape, if they are in reasonably good health, and if they possess functioning brains—can explore an array of possibilities that did not exist even a generation ago. “If ” is the most important word in the preceding sentence. The idea that we can control the future by aggressively focusing on and taking care of ourselves is an article of faith for baby boomers. Yet in many instances, successful aging—or the outward appearance of successful aging—means only that a person has managed to put on a happy face for the rest of the world; present an image of vigor and physical well-being even when bones are aching; smile even though a heart may be breaking with loss; do everything possible to conceal memory lapses; demonstrate a consistent willingness to try anything new; and scoff (with just the right, light touch of humor) at those misguided contemporaries who refuse to “live in the present.”
Here’s what one cannot do and be considered a person who is aging successfully: complain about health problems to anyone younger; weep openly for a friend or lover who has been dead more than a month or two; admit to depression or loneliness; express nostalgia for the past (either personal or historical); or voice any fear of future dependency— whether because of poor physical health, poor finances, or the worst scourge of advanced old age, Alzheimer’s disease. American society also looks with suspicion on old people who demand to be left alone to deal with aging in their own way: one must look neither too needy for companionship nor too content with solitude to be considered a role model for healthy aging rather than a discontented geezer or crone. Successful aging awards are conferred only on those who have managed (often as much by biological good luck as effort) to avoid, or convince others that they have avoided, the arduous uphill fight that eventually consumes all who live too long to retain control over either the mundane or the important decisions of everyday life. It’s great to be old—as long as one does not manifest too many of the typical problems of advanced age. The reality evaded by propagandists for the new old age is that we all are capable of aging successfully—until we aren’t.
I hope that this book about the genuine battles of growing old will provide support for all who draw their strength and courage from reality, however daunting that reality may be, rather than from platitudes about “defying old age.” This commonly used phrase in the annals of the so-called new old age fills me with rage, because the proximity of old age to death is not only undefiable but undeniable. Anger, by the way, is another emotion considered inappropriate in the old; the dubious notion of the “wisdom of old age” rests on the belief that elders can, and should, transcend the passions, vaulting ambition, and competitiveness of their younger adult lives and arrive at some sort of peace that passeth all understanding.
The capacity to negotiate between the past and the present, not transcendence of the emotions and desires that have made us who we are, is the proper definition of aging with dignity. The great Russian-born dancer Mikhail Baryshnikov, who once seemed to fl oat above stage and earth as the preeminent male classical ballet star of his generation, bravely called himself a “dancing fossil” on the Today show. Having just turned sixty, he described the role of the older dancer as that of “a mediator between your memories and your [current] abilities as a human skeleton.” This unromantic description of successful aging is applicable not only to nature’s blessed exceptions, who figure so prominently in most prescriptions for age-defying behavior, but to anyone whose intense desire for meaningful experience remains undiminished by a realistic recognition of time’s indelible, deepening imprint. The search for new, earthbound ways to express lifelong passions—not to transcend them in some mythical metamorphosis that seems more akin to a heavenly ascension—demands the most arduous efforts from and offers the most rich rewards for every aging human skeleton. Anyone who has outlived his or her passions has lived too long. Wordsworth got it exactly right, at the tender age of thirty-seven, in his “Ode: Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood”: O joy! That in our embers / Is something that doth live, / That nature yet remembers / What was so fugitive!
Media reviews
“Jacoby’s tough-minded refusal to buy the rosy image painted by advertisers and the ‘anti-aging industry’—a greedy crowd that includes bogus health gurus, pill pushers and other medical hucksters—is empowering.” –Time Magazine
“Providing a compelling, convincing account of current reality, Jacoby simultaneously demolishes the overly optimistic scenarios of the baby boomer generation…A cogently argued and well-written corrective to ‘the fantasy of beating old age.’” –Kirkus
“An important reality check.” –Booklist, starred review
“Moving and informative.” –Publishers Weekly
"Jacoby sees a new ageism that doesn't just stigmatize old people for their years, but blames them for physical ills that no lifestyle adjustments or medicine can yet forestall...Among other perils, the `old old' have a roughly even chance of being counted among the mind-eaten ranks of Alzheimer's victims. We may not like to think that poverty, social isolation, crippling pain, dementia and loss of autonomy are likely to come calling the longer we live, but it's a fact." -New York Times Book Review
“Mixes rigorous reportage and tart-tongued criticism with memoir and history, slashing through romanticized versions of the golden years and delivering tough truths.” –Newsday
“Eloquent…[Jacoby) is courageously right…one can hope that her impassioned, closely argued tract gains a serious hearing among her fellow boomers.” –Columbia Journalism Review
“Jacoby cuts through the fog of bromides and half-truths enveloping the discussion of aging, shines a light on issues long neglected and offers cogent solutions to pressing problems." –Miami Herald
“Jacoby demolishes the multiple myths of the golden age of aging, partly through personal experience, partly through extensive, smart research.” –Seattle Times Best Books of 2011
"[A] book that will change the way you think about growing old. At least it changed the way this reviewer thinks...Jacoby proffers no magic pill for dealing with old age in America, but she calls for baby boomers to lead the way in forging an intergenerational contract that will recognize the responsibilities of one generation to anther...In the end, and in ways not recognized at the beginning of the book, Never Say Die is life-affirming." –Washington Independent Review of Books
“Relentlessly sensible…lively, carefully researched…[Jacoby] writes with both passion and reason.” –St. Petersburg Times
"Never Say Die mixes the intellectual and the emotional, academic studies and personal anecdotes. It is intentionally contentious, sometimes to the point of harshness. That is just as it should be. Jacoby does not want to serve as a destroyer of hope. Thank goodness, however, that she is willing to be a destroyer of false hope." –Columbus Dispatch
"In Never Say Die, Susan Jacoby confronts the unhappiest of truths: many of us will live too long--both for our own good and for the good of others. This is the darkness that looms over us at the intersection of medical ethics, social justice, economics, and our midnight fears. Never Say Die is a beautifully written, clear-eyed, and deeply compassionate book."
—Sam Harris, author of The Moral Landscape and The End of Faith
"Warning: This book is heretical. Susan Jacoby, one of our most perceptive public intellectuals, examines the current myth that it is possible to transcend the vicissitudes of old age by living right. In this fascinating look at the “new old age,” she shows that it is pretty much like the old one—marked by declining health, loss of independence, and often dementia. It is no service to older Americans to demand that they conform, or pretend to conform, to current notions of a serene, wisdom-packed, if passionless, old age. We need to deal with it as it is, not as we would like it to be."
—Marcia Angell, M.D., Senior Lecturer in Social Medicine, Harvard Medical School
“Susan Jacoby, a sworn enemy of irrationality of every form, has some shockingly bad news: We will all die, and most of us will get old first—not 'older' but actually old. In this beautifully crafted book, she punctures the promises that aging will eventually be 'cured' either by a wonder drug or though positive thinking. The good news is that if we wake up from our delusions we may be better able to grow old with dignity.”
—Barbara Ehrenreich, author of Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting by in America
"For those of us who are old, Susan Jacoby's candor about old age is bracing; for those not yet old, Never Say Die should provide an unsentimental education for the years to come." –Philip Roth
“Disturbing and important…Civic planners, makers of public policy, sociologists, geriatricians, cultural historians, and advocates of the elderly should make their way through Jacoby’s book.” –The New Republic
“Important and informative…Jacoby does not want to serve as a destroyer of hope. Thank goodness, however, that she is willing to be a destroyer of false hope.” –Cleveland.com
“A searing examination…Never Say Die is a deeply personal book.” –AARP Bulletin
“Full of sobering truths.” –The Oregonian
“Jacoby, who is sharp and shoots straight, is bucking most of what is currently being written on this subject.” –The New Yorker
“Jacoby writes from the perspective of someone who fully understands the challenges of aging…The issues she raises are ones that Americans will need to address as more and more baby boomers officially qualify for senior discounts at their local Cineplex.” –The Erickson Tribune
“Never Say Die is solidly researched, full of convincing statistics, revealing anecdotes and Jacoby’s own personal stories…a valuable wakeup call to Americans.” –Winnipeg Free Press
“This is well-crafted book is relevant and certain to resonate with readers, especially those who are concerned about the uncertain future of our senior years.” –Tucson Citizen
“Everyone should read Jacoby’s Never Say Die because it deals with a topic none of us really wants to contemplate: life after the traditional retirement age of 65…Jacoby’s commentary about improving health care is among many suggestions she makes about how old age can be handled.” –The Washington Times
“In this well-written book, Jacoby takes a hard look at what she sees as the realities facing millions of old people in a country where youth is idolized…Never Say Die offers a hard-hitting and insightful guide to the daunting challenges baby boomers will face as they age.” –Spirituality & Practice
“An eloquent meditation on the pitfalls of ‘the new old age.’” –Mother Jones
“A straight-shooter, and a fine writer…Jacoby’s response to the opponents of physician-assisted dying is thoughtful and rational—and interesting.” –deathwithdignity.org
“Jacoby provides a fascinating and inherently interesting look at an issue that all Americans will face sooner or later. Her fluid literary style effectively integrates opinion, facts and anecdotes into an enthralling narrative that reads more like an edge-of-your-seat suspense novel than a scholarly treatise on a very serious subject…This is a very powerful book; it needs to be required reading for all Americans.” –Kentucky Daily News
Praise for
The Age of American Unreason
“Jacoby presents a cogent defense of intellectualism. America, she believes, faces a ‘crisis of memory and knowledge,’ in which anti-intellectualism is not only tolerated but celebrated by those in politics and the media to whom we are all ‘just folks.’”
—The New Yorker
“Jacoby joins the grand tradition of authors who refused to swallow the notion that ‘visual literacy’—film, TV, video games—is the intellectual equivalent of reading a classic novel.”
—Julia Keller, Chicago Tribune
About the author
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