I Can't Believe I Just Did That Hardback - 2003

by David Allyn

Social scientist David Allyn examines the subtly damaging effects of shame and embarrassment on our everyday lives-and offers powerful advice for identifying and managing them.

For many of us, when it comes to asking for a raise, asking someone to dinner, or just saying what we think in a difficult situation, a quietly lurking fear of embarrassment undermines our ability to effectively get the job done. Yet often-times, we are so accustomed to these feelings-or so eager to forget them once they have disappeared-that we fail to notice how dramatically they are shaping our actions.

In I Can't Believe I Just Did That, David Allyn draws upon extensive research in psychology and the social sciences, as well as the real-life experiences of the numerous subjects who participated in a study conducted for this book, to illustrate the impact embarrassment has on our day-to-day encounters. He shows readers how, if left unchecked, even the briefest incidents of embarrassment-in the checkout line at the supermarket or with a family member or coworker-can have negative repercussions on the important relationships in our lives. Through exercises designed to identify and ultimately dissolve these feelings of self-doubt and confusion, Allyn presents readers with a powerful program for transforming our spirals of shame into spirals of achievement.